Bill Gates dies and heads up to the pearly gates (no relation). Saint Peter meets him there and says, "Well, you've led an .... interesting life Bill. To be perfectly honest, we're not quite sure which place to send you. So we're going to let you decide." Gates swallows nervously and says "okay"

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and they are instantly transported to a sunny beach. There's beer and rock music and topless women playing volleyball.
Gates says, "Hey, ist this heaven? It's GREAT" St. Peter says, "No, this is Hell. Let me show you what Heaven is like."

He snaps his fingers again and they are instantly transported to a serene City park. There's a soft breeze and birds are chirping and old people are sitting on benches feeding pigeons and playing chess.
Gates says, "Well, this is ... nice. But, given a choice, I guess I'll take Hell."

Saint Peter says, "You got it," and snaps his fingers. Gates instantly imbedded in molten lava where his skin is flayed off in unspeakable agony. All around him he can hear demonic laughter and the screams of the damned. He looks up and shouts, "Hey, it wasn't like this! Where's the beach? Where's the babes?"

Saint Peter looks from his Macintosh and says "Sorry, Bill. That was the demo!"

When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where St. Peter showed him to his house - a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds and a tennis court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying the amenities of Heaven.

One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.

"That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?"

"Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred acre estate, a golf course, and three Rolls Royces."

"Were you a Pope, or a doctor healing the sick?", asked Gates.

"No," said his new friend. "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic."

Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stalked off to find St. Peter. Cornering Peter, he told him about the man he had just met, saying, "How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I invented the Windows operating system! Why does he deserve better??!!!!"

"Yes, but we use Windows," replied Peter, "and the Titanic only crashed once."